"What is that, some kind of stone, like a heating stone? An odd pattern, it kind of looks like—
is that a goddamn condom full of spaghetti
men are so afraid of confident girls and its so funny
I just realized that I grew up during a time where the crazy frog was a thing. Like that was an actual thing that happened, that blue fucking piece of shit frog took the world by storm and it even had a tiny dick and all it did was sing annoying songs while racing around sci-fi towns in a distant future on an invisible motorbike. I can’t believe this. How did that happen. Who LET that happen.
person: i heard if u bend the iphone 6 it bends.
me: i heard if u set clothes on fire, they burn. wtf did u expect would happen
liking someone’s selfie takes two seconds and it boosts their self esteem by 203948204
Idea for an art gallery
Blank canvases in a mostly dark room, but when you approach them, a light shines behind you and your shadow falls on it.
You look to the side and each card says different heartwarming things
Including but not limited to
‘Everyone is a work of art. Appreciate yourself and you’ll see beauty everywhere’
‘You are the art now. Everyone sees and appreciates your beauty’
"no my love, you cannot go off to war"
"but I must darling, i must fight. to defend our land"
"against the fuckboys
(Technically, this isn’t about saving your hands… but if you draw, you’re probably doing a lot of sitting, so…)
well no sir I don’t really have any “skills” per se, but one time I inserted a USB drive correctly on the first try
who wants to give up on society and go live in a treehouse with me
SMELL LIKE A MAN
SPORT SCENT SO EVEN WHEN YOUR CLOTHES ARE CLEANED AFTER SPORTS YOU STILL SMELL LIKE SPORTS
SMELLING LIKE SPORTS MEANS YOU ARE A MAN BECAUSE ALL MEN PLAY SPORTS AND IF YOU DO NOT ALWAYS HAVE SPORTS SMELL YOU NEED TO MAN UP!
SMELL LIKE YOU CAN MAN AND ALSO LIKE YOU CAN SPORTS
what i want to know is if, previous to this invention, straight men were afraid to wash their clothes or be clean
That’s actually why straight teenage boys use 14 cans of axe body spray a day, because they fear if they cleaned themselves they would become enraged with a thirst for huge man dongs.